I should eat more healthily, I should exercise; he’ll even buy me running shoes. Shocking, right? I’m kidding really, I mean, he does want to buy me running shoes but he doesn’t think I’m fat… just lazy. If he really thought I was fat I would consider that he had some sort of sub group of body dysmorphic disorder as I am a size 6. See he’s very fit and very much into dressing up in lycra and staring at another man’s lycra clad behind. Yes, he somehow manages to cycle something ridiculous like 60-100 odd miles every Sunday (the hero). Therefore me proclaiming my job to be very physical and spending my spare time hibernating under my duvet sounds an awful lot to him like lazy.
Irrespective of his views I had determined this would be the year I got fit. So I’ve looked at all the fitness options: cycling=perilous to my life, dancing=perilous to anyone around me, tennis=perilous to my bank balance and decided that perhaps I should start with a little bit of light jogging. So light, in fact, that the first jog I did was no further than to the end of my road and back again, well I had a nose bleed. Since my first jog I’ve invested in a few essentials in a bid to try and extend my staying power, most notably: a couple of sports bras. Ah, the sports bra, quite the creation. There’s a reason women are so keen to invest in these beauties. They are just so flattering. Oh um, actually I mean flattening. And really, what’s with the whole 1 set of clasps yank it over your head design?! I tried one on to check it fitted okay then found it a real struggle to get it off. There was so much wriggling and struggling to get out of the blasted thing that I had to have a little rest on my bed. I very nearly ended up living out my days in a very attractive sports bra – well not quite in, more rolled up under my armpits unable to hoist it up any higher. I text the boyfriend to tell him about it and told him it was clearly created by a man. His response?
“You can’t be serious that you think men invented bras. What man would want to cover up boobies?!”