In school I was forced to partake in Food Technology which was a course that was aimed at helping us to survive in the big bad world. Unfortunately I failed miserably to grasp most basic cooking principles and everything I made was inedible. Ah, that was if I remembered to bring in the ingredients needed, of course. There was a sigh of relief from the staff teaching this discipline when I was no longer required to make my brave attempts at culinary creation and a general vague hope that I might grow out of my ineptitude in the kitchen. No such luck. In fact; everything that I attempt to make is suffixed with “experiment”. This isn’t helped by the fact that I am now attempting to create edible delights using Gluten Free products which don’t behave in the same way (although somehow when I’m cooking the they do produce the same results…?).
Therefore we have the “Lasagne Experiment”, the “Ratatouille Experiment” and the “Truffle Experiment” to name but a few. The lasagne sheets were still rock solid after the required cooking time provided on the box and not even a chainsaw could cut through the top most layers: my version of “Al Dente” requires the risk of losing/breaking teeth. The “Ratatouille” quite literally looked like something the rat dragged in. And the truffles? Ah, the truffles were a masterpiece. A testament to my destiny to NEVER be a housewife. The truffle recipe I found sounded really straightforward and simple (ideal for me) with few ingredients. White Chocolate and Raspberry Liqueur Truffles. Yum. I figured they would make a lovely “Merry Christmas” for the rest of the team at work without costing me too much money. I followed the recipe to the letter except for doubling all the quantities and unlike my previous experiments I didn’t even make any little substitutions with the ingredients. To. The. Letter. What did I end up with after 48 hours of leaving the mixture to set? Melted White Chocolate with a splash of Raspberry Liqueur. Grand. So my Christmas present to my team ended up costing quite a bit: I surrendered my dignity in the name of comedy and took pictures of what it should have looked like and my inedible creation, posted them on the notice board with a message reading:
“Here’s what you COULD have had for Christmas if I wasn’t such a moron when it comes to domestic duties…Here’s how it came out…Merry Christmas”
Fortunately I was able to seek solace in the remnants (whole bottle) of the Raspberry Liqueur. *Hiccup*. If you ever want someone to help out in the kitchen I would recommend not calling me!